Dad49

This corona virus thing has really disrupted all of our lives. I have been seeking a houseboy for some length of time. I really need help, and need to feel like I’m helping a young man. I crave companionship, and if there is some physical intimacy, that’s a bonus. But my house is a disaster of a mess and I need a hard working guy to help me out. But I just am not comfortable having someone from the outside world into my home where I have been practicing 100% isolation for the past 17 days. I’m a senior, with a couple of underlying conditions, and I’d do a houseboy or myself no good if I got sick. So, I’ve put it all on hold. It’s not like houseboy candidates are breaking down my door. But there are some good guys out there. I’m happy talking to anybody who wants to explore the possibilities, but I won’t be making a move until things change for the better. Anybody disagree?

As far a guys seeking only sex, I’m not sure that is a big deal. I’m pretty clear in communication with the young men who have made serious inquiries that sex is low on my priorities for a houseboy. I’m looking for help in maintaining my home and for companionship. Physical intimacy us a wonderful gift to mankind, but I’ve never been comfortable wit the pay for play relationships that come around. Just not for me. If I eventually hire my helper-companion, hugs would be welcome, and if something more happens organically, that’s cool. I guess my point is that the way the site is set up, the profiles ask about dick size an preferences and kinks. But not every employer, nor every houseboy is totally driven by sex.

I think Rocketmahn has a point. There are probably not a lot of guys looking to be houseboys who are walking around with pockets full of money. If it’s going to cost two or three hundred dollars to get to my location, I understand that it is possible that an otherwise worthy and ideal candidate doesn’t have the cash to get here. That is a genuine problem for many. But with personal experience and the experience of others, I know that if I were to send a guy the $300 it’s going to get here by air, rail or bus, there is no guarantee that he will spend the money to get here. What is probably harder for me to accept is that I’ve dealt with 4, maybe 5 young men who I believe to be honest and sincere and in search of a host. Each of those guys, in the end, chose not to become my houseboy, but rather to accept another offer, or to keep looking for a better match. Yes, I admit it, I’m a difficult match. I’m deadly honest with potential helpmates. I suppose some figure it’s probably worse than it sounds, while others taking me for my word decide it’s not for them. still, I have faith that the right guy is out there, I’ve just yet to meet him.

It is okay to post here on the forum, but to get the most exposure, and to give more details about yourself, you should also create a profile on the main Houseboy.com site. This is true for both potential houseboys and potential employers it’s not a rule, just a good idea.

Buck. I have also engaged with kw1000. One of the better back stories, but stuck to my guns on sending money finally checked the photos he sent on a reverse image site and found one originally was posted on a porn site in 2012. Enough said.

Alex, you are lucky to have been approached by someone who is not very good at the game. Some of these guys have become very good at what they do.

Maybe with Skype or another video chat platform the two parties could get a good idea of their mutual compatibility, but it would take time and both would need to commit that if there is doubt on either side, it is “no deal”. Uncertainty and doubt are two different things. There will always be uncertainty about what is coming, but doubt is when you suspect the worst is likely. As for the financial arrangement, I can’t speak to the actual dollar amounts, but I would expect that if a houseboy completes his commitment honorably (or if the time frame is open-ended, he has served a reasonable tenure) that I should be prepared to send him off with enough cash to get him back to where I found him. A scam artist can come from anywhere, including overseas. But I guess I’d be much more trusting of a fellow who gets a tourist visa and sees a limited-time houseboy engagement as an adventure and a way to experience my country while benefitting from having a built-in home and friend.

Reporting on the profile is fine, unless once you confront the crooked member, he is likely to block you. Once that happens, you can’t get on his profile.

HandsomeMuscle has a new profile Lkn4OlderMentor i had a personal experience with him under the old profile this week, that may be why he has a new one.

Pinkcock , a supposed houseboy candidate left me a note expressing interest in my profile. Then he told me he was in the US Army in Syria, but will be home in a few weeks. That’s the most common unsuccessful scam run against lonely men on the gay phone apps.

I love you guys, but I’ll be honest. If I find a really great houseboy who meets my needs and meets mine, I won’t be on here giving anybody enough details that they might lure my man away. IF I ever find a good one, I’m hoping to treat him right and keep him fit a long time.

No info on Gabe4fun, but I just want to say you are wise to post the question on here. Had I done the same on the last guy I seriously considered I’d have saved hundreds of dollars and lots of aggravation.

Sometimes, I think we look at the sexual side of an arrangement to the point that we neglect the practical aspects. Many of the potential houseboys that i have looked at seriously have indicated that they need health benefits. That is very wise, but can be costly. I cannot afford to self-insure myself, nor could I bear full responsibility for the healthcare of a young man. The kinds of insurance available on The Exchange via the ACA -those with low premiums- would, in the event of a major illness, require more deductible and co-pay dollars that a houseboy could probably afford. One solution I’ve suggested meets with mixed reaction from those I’ve reached out to: the houseboy would secure part-time employment with an employer that offers group health insurance. Then, if the employee share of that insurance was onerous to the houseboy, I could help with that cost. In that way, at least I’d be paying for insurance that actually offers accessible benefits But many houseboy candidates balk at the idea of holding other employment, even if I adjust my requirements at home. Part of this is related to the young man’s sense of invincibility, they can’t see needing it. Others see outside employment as outside of their expected role. Of course owners of businesses that carry employee health plans might find ways to include o houseboy in that plan. But most of us don’t find ourselves in such a position. An aside on another topic, I agree with Buck52 who dislikes the term, “houseboy.” I think it can be somewhat demeaning to the gentleman upon which I would so depend. This week, I’m going to try on the title, “Valet-companion.” Any thoughts?

The scammer referred to here as iambronson is currently on the site as kbronsony and he ran a scam on me similar to what he has on others. The photo is him, though probably a couple years old. I did meet him, and in fact used frequent flyer miles to bring him to Chicago and then more miles to get him back to Charlotte. The con he ran on me is consistent with what he has done with others, and he’s pretty good at it. But he’s had plenty of chances to be somebody’s houseboy, and would rather just carry on with the con. Don’t buy into it, as true as it may all sound.

I scan these houseboy profiles almost daily, looking for new posts, re-reading the ones I didn’t contact but was tempted to do so. I’m disturbed by the proliferation of two questionnaire responses, “ask me,” and “it depends.” I can understand “ask me,” if a response requires some kind of explanation that justifies an answer that might otherwise eliminate the man from consideration But when a potential houseboy answers several questions with “ask me,” I tend to presume that he wants to Guatemala what answer I would like to hear. The same is true for “it depends.” One such answer is leaving something unknown, but I bypass the men who have several indefinite responses. Am I being paranoid, or unfair to these guys?

Thanks for the heads up, RealDad. You know, it occurs to me that we talk about these scam accounts as though they were real people. One of the shortcomings of the Internet is sometimes seen as a feature: anonymity. Sometimes Google will help to identify photos that are posted elsewhere on the Web, but not always For all we know these accounts could be posted by a little old grandmother in her room at the assisted living center, or by a group of multiple platform scammers in Western Africa. Ghana and to a lesser extent Nigeria are sources of tons of scams preying on lonely men on dating and hookup sites across the Internet. These are sometimes identifiable by the non-standard way they write place names, or sentences lacking the usual personal pronouns. But, even those scammers are learning to avoid these signs. You never know for certain who is on the other end of a posting or email.

While the origin of this holiday is sometimes clouded by folklore, it has been a time to give thanks for the bounty in our lives. But as a time when families and friends gather for a giant meal of turkey (usually) an all the trimmings, some feel left out, often because the are. I bring a special greeting to the employers who have yet to connect with a houseboy. A young man who would set a beautiful table, one who would help prepare the meal, greet guests and see to their comfort, and one who, when all was said and done would sit next to his dad/employer in front of the tv for football, or by the fireplace for quiet reflection, yes, you long for it, I hope it will be fulfilled. I also bring greetings to all of the houseboys. To those who have found a home where they are safe, and warm, and appreciated, even loved. But I also think about those poor souls who have entered into an arrangement that has turned abusive, but hard to leave. Most of all I think about those houseboys who are without a house to call home. Whether living lonely and/or poor, or just longing for a place where they might be needed, accepted and lovedo. I pray for the men who find they might survive by misrepresenting to potential employers in order to extract money not earned. Even they have an empty place in their heart that longs to be filled. May we all be thankful for what we have, be mindful that when a home is matched to a houseboy, it is special for the employer and the houseboy, that there is trust, and love, and it must be honored. I hope in the coming years, all of us who seek a houseboy, and all of those houseboys who seek a place will be safe, and will find a relationship that works for both. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

Taken care of? Well, my sense is that everyone has a slightly different vision of the Houseboy-Employer relationship. I see it as a mutual needs situation. An employer needs or wants someone to come into his home to add something that is missing. It might be sex, affection, companionship or household management services. Often it’s a combination of some or all of the foregoing. A houseboy needs some of the same things, but often is in need a stability, a safe home and an opportunity to improve his position in life. There needs to be a serious process to match what each needs and wants with what the he can and wants to share with the other. It’s impossible to say which one is taking care of the other. In a good match, ideally, there are shared goals and each is mindful of what the other expects. I’m not sure I’ll find the houseboy I have in mind. I believe that what I have to offer would be a great deal for a hardworking honest and loyal young man. The small handful of potential houseboys I have found to meet my needs didn’t see enough in it for themselves to take the chance.

DJHJD, One of my most recent experiences affirmed your last comment. I had a guy that was positive he could do what I needed after reading my rather lengthy and detailed description. I then asked him to write me a short page about his experience, his current living arrangements and why he was ready to move to northeastern Illinois just as we are moving into winter. A week later, the crickets are still chirping. Nothing in response. He is still on the site, having posted a better profile photo. What’s wrong with a short note, “I changed my mind”?

While I’ve read through the HB site for several years, this late summer and fall marks my first serious search to find a houseboy to live with me. I've had mixed results but no successful engagement of a houseboy. First off, I pass by profile with a lot of “ask me,” “maybe,” and “it depends” responses. I figure they are either window shopping, or will answer my question the way they perceive I would view favorably. Then I have a pretty good eye for fakes. The Ghana and Nigeria operators often give clues in their language usage. Nonetheless, I did lose several hundred dollars to one guy, in a gamble I knew was risky. But in dealing with young men who I perceive to be legitimate candidates I spend a lot of time going back and forth sharing information. First off, I want to be sure the understand me and my situation and needs. I want to discover what they really can an will do (sex is a very low priority in my search, housework, high.). Moreover I don’t wan to coerce a man to come here until he is certain he wants to come. I consciously avoid being pushy or rushing a commitment. I’ve corresponded with a couple of young men who dealt with me extensively but ended up choosing other employers. In both cases they sensed my slowed-down pace, non-pushy attitude as reluctance on my part. In both cases, I think they accepted placements far less desirable than what I offered (my opinion) I’d welcome feedback on the experience of others who have successfully engaged suitable houseboys, and even from those who have had little or no success.

Buck, I don’t think it was the same guy. I think there are a lot of guys in the same ilk. I don’t know if he was a plain out con, or just to messed up in his life that he lost track of the truth and/or had little faith that 6 months to 2 years or more in an honest, non-abusive home situation could help him to find a path to a life he could be proud to lead. I am not perfect, and don’t expect ion perfection of others. But holy cow!

I just had a similar experience with a guy who says he lives in South Carolina, but was raised in Georgia. Knowing full well that advancing these guys money is foolish, I bought into his thing. I even used airline miles to fly him to me. But I put him on a plane home (with more miles) When it was obvious that his financial needs were a bottomless pit. I kind of believe that this guy’s life is a mess, and I’d have worked with that if he hadn’t played me too far. Live and learn, this one cost me more than I’m willing to admit publicly.

Photo verification is so easy. After wasting a lot of time with some scammers, I’m not seriously discussing arrangements with those who aren’t verified.

Have you noticed how few of these guys verify their profiles. It is simple to do. I’m to the point of not considering others, but it leaves a pretty small pool

I was communicating with Jerrymay0 whose profile has the default New York location, but he said he was now in Houston. He had come out of an abusive houseboy situation in California and was staying with a friend. He had zero money and some days went without eating. (Evidently the family friend providing a roof over his head could spare no crumbs). He convinced me to go to text messaging. He said he was Canadian, and had lost his passport. This was going to be handled by his family friend, but he didn’t know where he was going to get the money. I ran his photos (too professional for a broke boy) through a reverse image engine and they came out clean. The number I was texting to had a Utah area code, though Utah had no mention in his back story. I did a reverse search and it listed as a non-fixed VOIP line belonging to an HVAC contractor outside of Salt Lake City. I called the number and it was answered as a Google Voice number, and after providing my name, it rang through to the HVAC company. This was not their main number, but obviously this guy had somehow cloned or hijacked the number. I guess he could work there, but I doubt this character works an honest job. He texted me this morning, after which I blocked his number. I see now that I cannot raise his profile through a profile search. Other clues were that he was way too into me after a couple of brief exchanges. Fortunately I wasn’t born yesterday.