Search the Community

Hi there, I have been working as a houseboy for several years and recently started a new job, I love the work we do together business-wise and I really enjoyed our personal time together these past several months. It was agreed from the start that we were to have an open relaxed relationship, but whatever happened with anyone else was to be kept out of our home and was our own business. However recently my employer met a young man and liked his company, and invited him to stay in our home for a month or two (He said he was not sure of it would be a sexual relationship but it was clear from letters I filed away that it would be most likely) During which time they would share a bedroom together and I would stay in my own private room, me and my employer would have no sort of closeness and it was not to be mentioned to this gentlemen that we had anything other than a strictly platonic relationship. This has really upset me and left me in a terrible way, I confronted him about this and his response was that he could hardly rescind the invitation now and that when we originally laid our boundaries that his exact wording referred to him specifically not having sexual intercourse with anyone in our shared bed, BUT that did not include any of the other rooms on the property or the fact that he could share our bed with them and not do anything sexual. I do not know whether I am just being overly sensitive and have my own issues to deal with but I feel mislead, I could not get him to understand why such a situation upset me so, and was made to feel I was being overly dramatic and that The technicality of his vague wording was a strong enough case for his validation but I just cannot accept that, especially from a man who prides himself and boasts about never telling lies, but to me there’s a big difference, he may not have lied but he was not exactly forthcoming with the truth. I don’t know what to do, I love my job, my friends, the life I have here, my pets and the actual legitimate professional (non-houseboy) career I am building here. But I feel hurt, betrayed and angry, confused, a little naive and embarrassed and I just cannot see a way around it. If anyone has any advice or experienced anything similar or even just has a bloody opinion on the matter I would more than happily take it right now. I don’t know what to do. Thank you for taking the time to read this if you made it this far. J