Can there be respect without trust?

[busyman]

As to my brief encounter with the houseboy known as blackpaw I had no desire let alone intentions to write about it in this forum. However I feel I must come to my own defense since this individual has found a need to portray himself as a victim along with expressing his vindictiveness towards me. Take note blackpaw speaks of not burning bridges, showing respect and not being vindictive yet he is after all the one who opted to post his post less than 4 hours after we spoke on the telephone. Can it be his own words are but a mere double edged sword?

Let it be known this individual contacted me via telephone. Upon sharing my concerns, disappointments and frustrations concerning my previous encounters with other houseboys from this site, this individual spent better than two hours assuring me of his sincere intentions, his desire to be my houseboy, agreeing to discussed terms and going above and beyond the point with stated sexual, romantic comments of flattery and then agreeing to flying out two days later. The fact remains, this individual knew of my location and aware of my clear mention of relocating ASAP in my ad well before he took the initiative to call and make the aforementioned comments and promises. Less than 24 hours later this individual informs me the distance is too far and has decided that it would be best for him to stay closer to California and or wait for a new opportunity where he could have the resources he needed closer at his disposal. Are the aforementioned requirements and needs not something a potential houseboy would or should take into consideration prior to contacting a potential employer with empty promises and wasting better than two hours of valuable time? As a successful business owner I make decisions on a regular basis based largely on given information and trust. This individual claims a red flag went up and to beware of me? Beware of me because as a potential employer on this site I offered to pay to relocate a self acclaimed sincere and serious houseboy within a short time span of speaking with them? My decision was based on this individuals unquestionable spoken words at the time, this is referred to as trust. I was taught you trust someone until they give you a reason to believe otherwise. This person has clearly given me reason to question their integrity. Though blackpaw asked if we could be friends and stay in touch how could I even consider such? After all isn't the foundation for friendship based on trust, honesty and respect?

[Guest pipatatl]

Hmm... you guys have never met in person, but he didn't trust you enough to meet you in person and you BOTH are publishing things about each other in a public forum based on nothing but opinions of each other.

I think the "respect" is long gone.

It doesn't matter who posted what or who did it first, "2 wrongs don't make a right. 3 left turns do, but if you take that approach your whole life, you'll spend it going in circles before getting to the point". (My mom would tell me that all the time)

The truth is that you guys have never met. The only thing you can say is true is that you wanted to meet him but he backed out at the last minute. Everything else in both of you guys' postings is just opinions and judgement (judgment for those that says the "e" shouldn't be there).

Can there be respect without trust? I sure hope so. Respect can be as simple as being polite enough to say "excuse me" to a stranger that you bump into. "Respect" and "polite" tend to go hand in hand, and posting public forums about someone (and using their names or screen names) contains neither.

If you guys want to be friends, try asking him what he feared. If the point of your forum here (and this obviously is the point of your posting) is damage control, just come out and say "What so-and-so said was untrue, I'm sorry you feel that way, and I wish you the best". With a response like that, anyone could figure out that you have enough respect for yourself to live above and beyond the drama and bs.

Instead, you've "spent it going in circles before getting to the point" and you didn't really even get to the true point of posting the forum, which is really nothing more than damage control.

So, he's not wrong for standing you up. Now I've personally moved in after chatting only 1 hour and that lasted a year, so I know things are worth taking a chance on. On one hand I can tell that you meant well, so he's not "wrong", but I would says he's a idiot for missing his chance. No matter, though, you're just as wrong for this posting. If you truly want him or want to make it "right", you would have enough respect to trust him enough to give him the chance to explain himself to you. Instead of trusting him with that, here we are on a public forum.

Can there be respect without trust? Yes there can be, but for you guys, not in this case. The reason:

You can respect someone without trusting them, but you can't trust someone without respecting them or at least their privacy.

Lol sorry if that's too deep, but not all houseboys are narrow-minded idiots. Some of us actually think and have something to say that's worth saying. Haha just ignore my terrible spelling.