Houseboy Assessment

[danandallan]

This message is not really a question, but rather a comment on a former houseboy. The information that we are sharing with you might be helpful. We would appreciate a reply to this message. In June of 2015, we found a houseboy on this site. He was with us until January 10, 2016. While he was with us, he didn't do anything illegal but was unethical. He may in the future use this site to find another position One can only go by the information stated on a profile, so you learn things as you go along in a given situation. He left us on January 10, 2016. His leaving was not the issue, but rather the way in which he left. He departed while we were asleep not telling us of his intention to leave. The last week or so prior to his leaving, he told us via emails a series of stories that turned out to be half truths and outright lies while he was arranging for his departure. We had no knowledge that he was not satisfied with us or unhappy living here. None of his actions indicated otherwise. A couple of days prior to his departure he accessed our computers to find a flight map and ticket information from our exact address in Chicago to Boca Raton, Florida., he deleted computer files unbeknowns to us, he left most of his belongings behind for us to liquidate, he was dishonest in his leading us to believe through a series of deceptions that all was well when in reality all was not well from his point of view and he has a cellphone from t-mobile which currently has an arears bill which t=mobile keeps calling us about to get payment from him. We were taken in by his profession of considering us to be his adopted dads and we felt the same as he would be like an adopted son. So he played on our emotions which is the unethical part of this message. Our relationship was thus very close. His unexpected departure was not only a surprise but hurtful. We know, through a search, that he is most likely currently living in Boca Raton, FL employed by a couple there. Their profile text for was a dream come true for him. So in essence, he found a better situation in which to live. In retrospect, we supported him through one semester of college with free room and board, providing a stable and comfortable home environment filled with respect, inclusion and love. Our trust was broken. We are commenting to you that we would not want anything to happen to another couple like what happened to us. We realize there is probably nothing that can be done, but given human nature things like this do happen. We are certain that you have heard of many situations such as ours before. That's life and we suppose the nature of the site in some cases. We do appreciate what the site has to offer.

[Guest]

This sounds terrible, but you're right when you say there is nothing that can be done. What he did could be considered heartless and downright mean, but he didn't actually do anything wrong.

Have you stopped to consider that if you took him in as the adopted son that you say and loved him and included him in your life and did all these wonderful things for him and he just up and left, maybe there was something so wrong in his life that he couldn't stand the thought of bringing it in to harm you that he had to just leave? I mean, if you did all this for him and he just left, there had to be a reason. He was probably somewhere enjoying his new life but missing you two, right.

Wrong. To start, it's great that you didn't mention his name. However, you mentioned when he left and when he got to Boca Raton, so any idiot can look at who looked at your profile the most around the time he entered your life and then notice the one person in Boca Raton that basically went inactive around the time he arrived there.

You took him in as your adopted son and it was his profession that attracted you to him. Yet, on your own profile, your second picture is a dick pick, you mention over and over that sex is required, and the guy in question just happens to be cute twink with no profession of anything other than being a houseboy. Requiring him to live under your rules is not the same thing as just allowing him to live under your roof (room and board).

You said you were very happy with him, so he cleaned up for you, gave you sex, and had to either work to provide his own money or he had to be in school. He carried out the requirements of the job you offered him, and staying was not one of those requirements. You call it "trust" that he broke when he left, but it was really just an "assumption". You assumed he would stay because where ever he came from was worse than what you offered and then you gave him something out of pocket and you felt that should make him want to stay.

The problem with that is that most guy on here make being a houseboy their job or career. It is his job to make you feel like you're the best fit for him over every other boy on here. I know what that's like; I used to be a houseboy too. Even though I was lucky enough to pretty much meet only the best of the best (because there aren't too many black guys on here by chance and apparently there are tons of men that love chocolate haha), I will still admit there are plenty of things I did that I didn't exactly want to do and have not done again since (such as being a bottom... never again). I did it because being a houseboy was fun, exciting, addictive, and unpredictable.

So, this being a career for him, it's up to him to advance when and where he can. Now he's living down south in Florida soaking up the rays, getting plenty of time at the beach, and is with a very sexy couple that even gives him spending money. Do I mention that to be mean? No, not at all. If you cared for him as you say you did, you should be happy for him.

Unethical. You used that word, but you're the one that says you're the adoptive dads that want to love and care for your adopted son. In truth, you brought him in to live out your fantasy life of having a son to have sex with who also keeps the house clean and is essentially your property or servant that lives under your rules. Yeah, I'm not going to touch that one.

Let's talk about trust again. There are some things that you simply trust your loved one to keep intimate and private. That guy didn't go off telling the world of how bored he actually was with you two both in and out of bed. Nope; he just moved on. He's living life and you're here trying to blast his information, no matter how "politically correct" you went about doing

Seeing as how you've put this guy on blast for moving on to a new opportunity, why should any new houseboy "trust" their privacy to you now? I mean, you say you posted that to keep others from going through what you went through, but you posted it in a place where hosts and houseboys alike can see this (not just in a section reserved for hosts only). You call yourself the adoptive dads but you're requiring him to satisfy you sexually and then you want to call him unethical, and you make something private in his life public, but you want to say he broke your trust?

It's clear why he left. It's quite likely this post isn't your first show of hypocrisy. You can't call him two faced for saying everything was okay when you post something like this.